When I grow up....Update

Daddy: "What do you want to be when you grow up, Oni?"
Oni: "A Mom."
Mama: "Why do you want to be a Mom?"
Oni: "Because I will be big and you will be little and I will take care of you."

Funny Oni et. al. Part II

I can't remember if it was Lilly or Lydia who this came from. I really think it was Lilly....this was from a while ago.

(On the phone)
Lilly: "Auntie Clare, listen to this"
(*I hear a sound like an instrument would make.*)
Auntie Clare: "Is that a recorder?"
Lilly: "No, it's not a recorder. It's long and it comes in a box and you play it when you are in jail"
Auntie Clare: "Is it a harmonica?"
Lilly: "Yes! That's what it is called."

Free For All

For Christmas, Jacob got me a gift certificate to get my hair done. Christmas Eve day I left at 12:45 for my appointment. I had just laid Oni down and Jacob was taking a nap. I let him know that I was leaving and that he should listen for Oni.

I got back from my appointment at about 3:00 to find Oni by herself in the living room amongst piles of unrolled wrapping paper, empty spools of ribbon with ribbon strung all over the house - down the hallway, into the bedrooms. She also had out several tubes of chap stick and markers - all uncapped and lined up in a neat row. She unwrapped several presents and unpacked stockings.

Mama: "What are you doing Oni?"
Oni: "I got bored."
Mama: "Did you sleep?"
Oni: "Yes, for ten minutes. Then I got bored."
Mama: "Why didn't you wake up Daddy?"
Oni: "It didn't work."

Thank goodness I had the foresight to block off the kitchen so at least she didn't have access to anything too horrible.

Christmas Music

We are very into the Christmas spirit this year. Oni has been singing carols non-stop; the other day I heard her singing in her sleep "Joy To the World".

Her favorites are:
"Jingle Bell Rock" (as she calls it - "Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock")
"Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" (Oni calls this one, "Rockin' Around")
"Winter Wonderland"

New and NOT Improved

Oni sitting at the kitchen table eating dinner (to the tune of I've Been Working On the Railroad):
"I've been working on my corner..."

Mama: "No, it goes 'I've been working on the railroad'"

Oni: "Nope, it's, 'I've been working on my corner'; it's a new song."

That girl is forever changing the lyrics to her favorite songs... but this one needs a little work.

Slimy, Nasty

On Halloween Grammy, Daddy, Mama, and Oni were sitting on the kitchen floor carving a pumpkin. As I was scraping out the pumpkin guts, I put a small sliver of the pumpkin on Oni's hand to which she replied, "Oh, oh, no thank you!!"

Oni doesn't like slimy gross stuff.

School funny

On Friday Oni got to play with "sensory gloves" at school. The teacher filled up rubber gloves with different things (water, sand, etc..) Oni said her favorite was the glove filled with Cheerios because it "felt yummy".

Shhh!!

I went today to buy scrubs for my first day at work. Oni was with me (of course!). We ran into a friend from school and we were both in the dressing rooms at the same time trying on scrubs. As I'm just about to put on the scrubs Oni (very loudly) says, "Mama! You're naked! You look funny!"

The friend in the next stall was laughing hard enough for us to hear through the walls. Who knows how many other people in the store heard her... probably everybody.

The funniest part to me is that Oni sees me without my clothes on a daily basis (we shower together most of the time), but she picked this time in public to announce my goofy-looking body. Not once at home has she ever mentioned anything about this before!

Sometimes you just can't win!

Fashion Victim

Oni is in full princess gear this morning; pink sweatsuit under a blue and white floor-length Easter dress with orange pumpkin socks, and red ballerina slippers. (It's too cold to wear just the dress, so we negotiate. She pretty much picked out everything today.)

She is skipping through the living room singing,
"A tisket a tasket a green and yellow basket. I wrote a letter to my love....a little princess picked it up and held it in her hand."

**For the record, if we go out in public, she 'dresses down'. We lose the dress and slippers for the more practical everyday clothing.

Correction

Oni was being very loud while she was playing the other day.
Mama: "Oni, please don't scream."
Oni: "I'M NOT SCREAMING, I'M JUST YELLING."

Watch Your Mouth Mama!

This weekend Uncle Linden, Andrea, Oliver, and Fritz came to visit Michigan. On Saturday Jennifer and I took Oni and Oliver to Papa's Pumpkin Patch for some Halloween fun. We had been there for about an hour, Oliver and Oni were walking nearby (I thought out of ear shot).

Jennifer: "I'm starving."
Clare: "I'm freaking thirsty."
Oni: "I'm freaking thirsty, too!"

I should have realized that she could hear me. I guess it could have been worse. Will I ever learn?

Funny Oni et. al. Part 1

This was too good not to post! Lydia is my six year-old niece. She is in the first grade.

A phone conversation between Nana and Lydia:

Lydia: "Hi Nana"
Nana: "What's wrong Lydia? You sound sad."
Lydia: "I got a sad face on my calender today" (at school - reflecting her behavior)
Nana: "What happened?"
Lydia: "Well, I threatened somebody."
Nana: "Tell me about it."
Lydia: "I meant to say, 'I'm a clown', but what came out was, 'I'm gonna smack you.'"

Don't you just hate when that happens?!

The Boss Said It Was Okay

You all probably already know this, but I just graduated from college. I took and passed my state exam, and I have had two interviews (for the same position). Today I was offered the job! I told Jacob the good news and he promptly started making phone calls. When he got off the phone he said, "Since you got the job, can I play a celebratory round of golf?"

I said, "No you may not."

Oni said, "Yes you may."

Contrary to popular belief, Oni actually isn't running the show.

Jacob didn't go golfing.

It's Been a While

Daddy and I just picked up Oni. Daddy hasn't seen her in a week, I haven't seen her in three days. Jacob has grown his annual "hunting season" beard (which he didn't have when he left for Alabama this last time).

When Oni saw him, she said, "Ohhhh myyyyy! Look at all your fur!!"

She notices everything!

I Love You Girl

Oni is with Grammi (my mother-in-law) in Mt. Pleasant this weekend. I just talked to her on the phone. Oni told me about her day; she's having a great time!

Mama: "I love you!"
Oni: "Yeah, and I love you, girl!"

She cracks me up. I can't wait to get her home.

Kissing a Stranger

I was at the Secretary of State today (with Oni, of course) and I was signing papers. One second Oni was sitting at my feet being very good. When I finished signing, I didn't see her immediately. To my left was a woman getting her picture taken for her driver's license. At her feet was a toddler, probably about 14 months old. Attached to the little girl's cheek were my daughter's lips!! The mom and everyone looking on were laughing. The baby was loving it, so was Oni.

I just can't take my eyes off her for a second!

Who Am I?

I laid Oni down for her nap when about forty minutes later, I hear her door click open and the pitter-patter of little feet trekking down the hallway. She arrives in the living room and says, "Clare, Clare, I have poo-poos."

I said, "Who is Clare?"

Oni: "I don't know." To which I replied, "Well, my name is Mama." And Oni said, "I have poo-poos."

**The bottom line here is; I don't care what your name is, will you just change my pants, please?

Scarred for Life

About two weeks ago, I was trying to pop some popcorn on the stove while talking on the phone to Jennifer. Because I was distracted, the whole pot caught fire - flames were shooting up. I was screaming, the fire alarm was screaming and Oni just stood in the living room (where she could see and hear what was going on) crying. It was terrible. It really only lasted about five seconds before I put the fire out with baking soda, but it was scary for Oni (and me! That was my first and hopefully last kitchen fire). It took a while for the smoke to clear so I sent her to the front porch where she could breathe and silenced the fire alarm. We haven't made popcorn since.

That brings us to today. Oni just said to me, "Can we pop a little popcorn without having a fire?"

Poor kid! I guess it was a little scarier for her than I realized. For the record, I did manage to make her a small bowl of popcorn without burning the house down. But when I started popping it, Oni said, "Can I watch you this time?" She's probably thinking I shouldn't be turned loose in the kitchen without supervision. Many of you who know my cooking skills would tend to agree!

I Can't Stomach Your Singing

Yesterday Oni was sitting at the table eating lunch. I was in the kitchen singing while I was getting my lunch around and Oni said, "No Mama. Please stop....I'm eating"

I know I don't have the greatest voice, but I had no idea it was that bad.

Legs Are Beautiful!

Several months ago, maybe even a year (I can't remember) I was in bed reading a book late at night. I thought Oni had long been asleep until I hear her chanting at the top of her lungs: "LEGS ARE BEAT-I-FUL" over and over again.

This was the beginning of her fascination with legs. She'll ask me if she can "have legs for a while". That means she wants to run around with no pants on. And for those of you who don't know, her legs are quite beautiful!

Some Words of Encouragement

Daddy and Oni were out raking the yard this evening.

Oni: "Daddy you are my big helper."
Daddy: "Oh thank you Oni, I am trying."
Oni: "Well, you are going to have to try harder."

Life Imitates Art

Daddy was telling me that he flies out to Alabama early Sunday morning (6:00am). I said, "That's no big deal, we'll just have to wake Oni up earlier than normal."

Not even realizing that she was listening (which is foolish of me; she's always listening) Oni piped up, "So, what's in it for me?"


**The "what's in it for me" came from Charlotte's Web - it's something Templeton the rat says when asked for a favor.

Again With the Tomato....

Out of the blue today Oni said, "My hair is curly now, and it is going to grow and grow until I become a grown-up tomato."

**For the record, I have never said anything about her wanting to be a tomato in front of her to anyone else. It's not like we keep talking about it. Apparently it is something she is really interested in pursuing.

Como se Dice?

Oni is going to sleep. We read our night-night books, then sang our night-night songs. I started covering her up with her favorite blankets and she gets all bent out of shape because I am putting them on her in the wrong order.

Oni: "NO! The duck blanket first, then the snowman blanket."
Mama: "How do you ask me?"
Oni: "Please me Mama!"

**I think she intended to add in 'please'....but I know that 'please me' is what she really meant.

We love Fritz

For those of you who don't know, we have a new cousin - Fritz Castle Hagans was born August 23, 2010 (one day after Oni!) Oni loves looking at pictures of him; we talk a lot about Oliver (Fritz's big brother) and Fritz.

Not long after he was born we were walking into the mall and in front of us was a woman carrying a baby. Oni greeted the woman and said, "Is that your baby? I have a baby. His name is Fritz."

This got a smile from both myself and the woman Oni was talking to.

Yesterday Oni asked me when her little sister Fritz was coming over to play. We love Fritz!

Prove It

Daddy is in Alabama (again!) and every night he calls Oni before she goes to bed. Tonight she told him all about her day, then sang "Night-night My Daddy" to him (first he sings to her, then she sings to him - we do this every night).

She starts singing "Night-night my Daddy" then looks at me and says, "No! That's my Daddy" and continues to sing. I was trying not to laugh at her. When she got done singing, Jacob said, "I miss you Oni." To which Oni replies, "Then get me a rocket ship."

That did it for me! I laughed until my face hurt and tears were coming out of my eyes.

Sleep Talker

The other night I went in to change Oni's diaper while she was sleeping (have to do this every night). Usually she sleeps right through it and doesn't even stir. This particular night, as I was finishing up, she opened her eyes and said, "Where are my enchiladas?" then closed her eyes and rolled over.

The next morning I asked her if she was dreaming about enchiladas last night. Her face got all serious and she said, "Yes. I want to eat enchiladas."

We had enchiladas for lunch that day :)

New Twist On An Old Favorite

Oni singing and dancing:

"Ring around the rosies,
Pocket full of posies,
Ashes, ashes,
We all get hurt!"

Say What?!

Oni was standing on her stool brushing her teeth. A misstep caused her to stumble off the step-stool. As she landed on the ground, she looked at me and said, "What the heck of a yoo-ka?"

I'm not quite sure of the literal translation, but I think I get the gist. Maybe we are reading too much Dr. Seuss...

Potty Training - I Don't Wanna!

We were working on potty training (which she is fighting tooth and nail). I tried everything I could think of to get her excited about using the potty; new panties, a special potty, etc. I made her a potty chart and got Mickey Mouse stickers (she loves Mickey). I showed her the chart and stickers and explained to her that when she goes potty on the potty she gets to put a sticker on the chart.

Her response: "That's great Mama!! I don't want to go potty on the potty."

We took a break from potty training after that.

She followed me home

Driving in the car;
Oni: "Mama, where are we going?"
Mama: "We are going home."
Oni: "Can I come, too?"

**I've had worse proposals! She was cute so I brought her home with me.

When I grow up....

Daddy: "Oni, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
Oni: "A tomato"

Time for Bed

Mama: "Okay Oni, it's time to go to bed."
Oni: "I don't want to go to bed. I want to go to Mars."

I wasn't quite sure what to say to that. I told her to go to bed and dream about Mars. It was the best I could come up with.